


I Need to Know

by Kivea



Series: k2 Week [4]
Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, First Dates, Getting Together, Goth Karen, Happy Ending, I suppose, Kenny Dies, Like a few times but then he's okay, M/M, Meddling friends but in a bad way, Tegridy Farm, mentions of weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:08:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kivea/pseuds/Kivea
Summary: Day 4: AU [musical]Kenny was late. He was late for their first date, before he was taken out by a truck. It was the usual affair, but with a lot more guilt. What wasn't usual was what came after.What wasn't usual was having to live through several versions of himself, each time just missing the mark at being with the boy he loved.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick
Series: k2 Week [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873447
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	I Need to Know

**Author's Note:**

> SO. I wrote this one at work on my breaks BUT that meant that I got my genre's messed up. I ended up using soundtracks instead of musical, but we're just here to have fun right so who cares right??? (I'm sorry). 
> 
> The music I used was all from The Amazing Spiderman's soundtrack, We're Best Friends, I need to Know, and So Much Anger. I also used Song for Zula by Phosphorescent (also from The Amazing Spiderman soundtrack)

It would be their first date. Their first date after being childhood friends since they were in kindergarten. Their first date after having their weird flirting thing since puberty hit. Their first ever date and Kenny wanted nothing more than to be able to make it every bit the enchanting, magical love story that they deserved. It would be something that poets would write about in years to come. Something that would make Wendy green with envy as she stumbled through a hectic love-life. 

He wanted _nothing more_ than to be able to make it that, yet the universe just didn’t want to give him the chance. 

“Kenny, you’re not getting ready already, are you? You haven’t finished your chores yet!” 

He stared at his mother with his hair half dried, wide eyed and shirtless in their hallway. “What? What chores?” 

“I asked you to do the morning chores, remember? The dishes, take the trash out. There’s a list pinned to the fridge. You forgotten again?” 

“Can’t dad do it?” he pressed, trapped in the hallway with his mother between him and his bedroom. “I have somewhere to be!” 

“Your dad can’t be picking up your slack, Ken! He’s going through a tough time right now.” 

“A tough time?!” there were so, _so_ many things he wanted to say to that. “Are you fucking kidding me? He’s just gonna be sat on that couch watching TV all day!” 

“Don’t you use that tone of voice with me, mister! You gonna make your sister do all the chores herself? She’s got plans for her weekend too, y’know!” 

It was a low blow, to use his sister against him. Carol McCormick did her best, most of the time, but when she was desperate she was always willing to drop Karen’s name to get him to do something. Sometimes he wondered if being overly helpful was a bad thing. It meant that instead of being grateful for what he did, they just expected him to pick up all the slack. 

“Can’t I do it when I get home?” 

“You’re only going to see Kyle, Kenny. He won’t mind if you’re a bit late.” 

“But _mom_ , it’s our first date!” 

“First dates don’t come above helping your family! The sooner you start them, the sooner you’ll be going out.” 

He suffered through his mother stopping off to shout at her husband on the couch. They bickered, her complaining that their poor children were being forced to sacrifice their weekend because he was too lazy to get off his ass, and him complaining that they should be pulling their weight round the house while their parents worked so hard to keep them afloat. Nothing else came of it. 

He grabbed a random shirt and pulled it over his head. The sooner he started, the sooner he finished. 

He ran a hand through his hair as he headed towards the kitchen, surveying the list and trying to mentally figure out how long it would take him. He wondered if maybe he should set an alarm on his phone, but it was plugged into the only charger they had still out of battery. He was just going to have to guesstimate the times. 

He hadn’t even started when his dad appeared before him, pulling a maroon jacket on over his blue shirt. 

“Oi, Ken, I need you to watch your sister for a bit.” 

“Oh no, I’m doing chores,” Kenny argued. “I don’t have time to watch Karen!” 

“You can do it while you do your chores.” 

“I’m leaving as soon as I’m done!” 

“Take her with you.” 

The very idea had him wanting to pull his hair out. “Just because it’s a date with Kyle doesn’t mean it’s not a real date! Why do you and mom act like it’s no big deal?!” 

“C’mon, kiddo, I just need to nip to the shops. I’ll be back before you’re done, I promise.” 

“I don’t need a babysitter!” 

The pair turned to see Karen in the doorway to the kitchen, a scowl on her face and her hands planted on her hips. She was dressed up to go out, all goth-ed up to spend time with her most favourite role-model: Henrietta. 

“You’re only twelve, Karen. Last time I left you in the house on your own you invited those weird occult, vampire looking kids in.” 

She all but stomped her foot. “They’re not vamp-kids, dad! They’re goth! And they’re my _friends_!” 

“They’re a bad influence is what they are,” he turned to Kenny with a big smile and a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, kiddo. I owe you one.” 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just – be quick, okay?” 

With the closing of the front door Kenny turned to his little sister, who was still silently foaming at their father’s dismissal of her friends. They stared in a dead silence for a few moments, her eyes finally locking with his as she decided what kind of scathing remark she was going to give him. 

“Y’know, you wouldn’t be so behind on your chores if you didn’t wake up late.” 

He rolled his eyes and rushed forward. “C’mere, you little shit-!” 

They wasted a good five minutes chasing each other round the dining room table, Kenny finally launching himself across the top and tackling the girl, who’s uncaring façade broke down into a giggling fit as the tickling started. 

He could’ve kissed her when she looked up with a sympathetic smile and offered to help him do his chores so they were ready by the time their father returned. Scratch that – he _did_ kiss her. Wet and messy on her cheek. 

It didn’t surprise him that when they were close to the end of the list, his dad wasn’t back yet. He cursed the man for putting him in this situation, not wanting to even check the time and find out how little he had left before he was due to be at the cinema. He was already mentally cutting out his plan to get ready and look his best, figuring out how to do that with less time. 

They got close to the end of the list, with just the dishes left to do, and they were both stood in front of the sink grimacing at the sight of them. 

Morning chores his ass, they hadn’t been done in days. 

“Look, dad’s not even here,” Karen pointed out. “Why don’t you just go?” 

“Mom said I couldn’t without finishing these chores.” 

She scoffed. “So? If you’re that bothered about it, isn’t it worth getting in a little trouble over?” 

She was right. She was totally, absolutely right. 

He disappeared to his room, ripping off his shirt and putting on the one that he’d planned on wearing, checking himself in the mirror and taking one look at the windswept mess that was his hair before deciding he really didn’t have time. He looked fine enough as it was, even if it wasn’t perfect. Being late was even less perfect. 

He swore as he reached the living room and picked up his phone. His phone that he had plugged into the charger that morning before his shower yet wasn’t connected to it anymore. 

He tried to turn it on. Nothing. 

Dead. 

“Who unplugged my phone?!” 

Karen shrugged her shoulders at the question as she lingered in the doorway. “I dunno. Is it out?” 

“Shit, yeah. It’s dead.” 

“You can borrow mine, if you wanna?” 

“No, you need it too. I’ll – be fine. I’ll be fine,” he grabbed his denim jacket and rushed forward to force a goodbye kiss onto her forehead as she swatted him away. “Don’t invite any goths around. You know they put the shits up dad.” 

“Good. He’s such an asshole.” 

He ran out the building and felt a brief moment of relief as he finally started to head towards his date. 

He swore as he ran up the side of the SoDoSoPa building, leaping across a gap to a lower roof and powering through his journey. The decrepit buildings at the back of their house had become a jungle gym for the McCormick children growing up, and now were more of a shortcut to the centre of town. 

“Shit, shit, shit!” he swore as he dropped down to the ground and slipped through a hole they’d cut in the fence, the corner of his jacket catching on the wires. He raced through the streets to make it to the cinema where they’d agreed to meet, expecting to see Kyle sat on the bench outside Tweak Bro’s., ready to rip him a new one. 

There was no one. 

No fiery redhead. No shouting about him being late. No sign that the Broflovski kid had been there at all. 

Maybe…he was early? 

He spun round to race further down the street, towards the park, seeing a flash of green and red as he crossed the road and opened his mouth to shout out that _he was here_ and that Kyle didn’t need to leave and he was _so sorry_ – 

He heard the truck’s horn blaring before it hit him and plunged the world into silence. 

\--

Waking up after dying often left him feeling…oddly _fresh_. Pure. Untainted. The cleanest he’d ever felt. Almost like an unspoken apology from the Gods of making him relive each painful experience again and again. 

Sometimes it happened straight after he died. A hard reset that was instantaneous. Sometimes it took longer though, more like a reboot, letting him chill in hell for a while as a small break from the madness above. There was probably something to be said for the state of his life that he considered hell to be a break. 

Sure, he did sometimes wake up at the sound of someone calling for him, acting like he’d just overslept. And sure, sometimes it felt like a couple of his features were… _different_. Not like this though. 

Not so drastically. 

“ _Wake up_ , we have to hurry!” 

He jolted up, eyes wide as he looked around what appeared to be a crumbling tower. There was a window to the left of the bed he was in, signalling that they were pretty damn high up, and the ground below seemed to be shaking with the force of something from below. 

To his left there was a wide eyed, jittering mess of a boy, wearing earthy tones with a long, green cape, clasped at the shoulder on one side by armour, and on the other by a decorative pin. His brows shot to his hairline as he realised who this boy was. 

“Stan?!” 

“We must move fast, Princess. My King can only hold them off for so long.” 

“What? What’s going on?!” 

“Princess, please. Your life is in danger.” 

This was too much. 

He was wearing a _dress_! 

Kenny shot out of the bed, stumbling as he tripped over the hem of the white skirts that trailed along the floor. He turned to see Stan heading for the door, clearly under the impression that he’d come to his senses and would escape the building. Kenny wasn’t sure he wanted to follow this weird, medieval styled Stan who was carrying a _sword at his waist why the hell was he-_?! 

Kenny shrieked as a large painting fell from the walls, crashing on the floor and splitting the frame straight up the middle. Maybe he didn’t want to follow Stan, but it was clearly better than saying where they were. 

He followed obediently, listening out for any strange noises. Stan took him down a spiral staircase, stopping at the bottom to battle with a door. He let out a low string of curses as he fought, and Kenny looked around for an alternative in the narrow hall. 

There was a long, red tapestry. He pulled it to the side to reveal a narrow, dark passageway. 

“Stan!” 

The dark haired man turned round, eyes widening at the passage. “How did you…?” 

“Every castle has hidden exits. Come on!” 

Stan insisted he went first. By the time they neared the end of the tunnel, they were having to walk sideways to shuffle along the narrow space. Stan held a hand for him to wait as he ducked his head round the tapestry covering the other end, moving out to make sure it was safe. 

“Alright, Princess, here-?” 

“I don’t need your help,” Kenny snapped out, getting real sick and tired of this chivalrous Stan. He didn’t have time to be wasting on weird, medieval fantasies right now. “Where now?” 

“This way.” 

After Kenny nearly tripped over the flowing skirts he hoisted them up round his knees to give him more freedom to move, unsurprised by Knightly Stan’s flushed reaction to politely refuse to look Kenny in the eyes. When he wasn’t in a rush to get out of this fever dream and back to reality, maybe he’d find it funny. 

Right now, it wasn’t funny. 

“There!” Kenny shouted out as he spotted a pair of grand double doors. “That’s gotta be the way out, right?” 

“I believe so, Princess. We must move swiftly and-?!” 

The pair stumbled as one large tremor shook the castle. Kenny pulled Stan close as some rubble fell down, grimacing as debris flew around, smacking him in the back. It was nothing big, nothing to slow him down, but enough that it hurt. 

What he did notice when he looked over was that the crumbling wall had fell to show the view of two figures fighting. One of them black and purple, the other red and green. 

His breath caught in his throat at the sight. 

A redheaded elf stood there, hair wild as magic surged around his body, bathing him in an almost ethereal light. He wore a robe of red and golds which seemed to whip round from the force of the magic that was swirling round the room, face twisted in concentration with eyes that shone, a tall, wooden staff in his hands. 

“Kyle…” Kenny gasped out as he saw the redhead, surrounded by sparks of green lightening that erupted from the staff in his hands. “We have to help him!” 

“No, it’s my job to get you to safety,” Stan argued. “The King will deal with this.” 

“What even is this?!” 

“The Dark Lord’s final attack. He discovered where you have been kept.” 

Kenny picked up his skirts again and began to run. “We have to help him!” 

“Princess, no!” Stan’s hand was round his arm, pulling him back. “We must leave! I promised his majesty that-?!” 

“Fuck your promises!” he snapped. “I’m not abandoning-?!” 

Before he could finish his sentence, Kyle had pulled a hand back from the staff and swept it towards Kenny. He gave a shriek as a large vine came crashing through one of the windows towards him, picking him up and sweeping him back. He was deposited into Stan’s arms, who tossed him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and began to head for the exit. 

“Put me down!” Kenny demanded, feeling more and more like a Princess with each second. “If I’m a Princess that means you have to do what I say!” 

“No, I have to do what my King says. You’re not the ruler of the Kingdom I’m from quite yet.” 

He kicked and he screamed and he fought as he was taken towards the exit. He watched as Kyle dug his heels into the stone floor as he was pushed back, purple flames licking at the edges of the lightening that he was focusing on his target. 

Kenny managed to wrangle free, screaming out as he rushed with a hand out to reach for Kyle, when a purple flame broke off and went wild, hitting the ceiling above him. 

His world went black as the rubble fell. 

\--

He coughed out as he landed on the floor on his front, gasping for air that wasn’t coming. He hadn’t been ready to be shoved straight into a body that was being knocked about, but he was thankful for the car that had driven straight into the silver coated villain opposite him. He tried to pull himself up, noticing the familiar looking uniform that was straight out of his childhood. 

It was his Mysterion uniform. Purple gloves, dark cape, and black mask. 

He looked up as he got his breath back to see the door of the police car that had knocked out the villain he had been facing, brows pulling together as a furious Kyle Broflovski tore out of it, look of thunder on his face. 

“Really?!” he shouted out as Mysterion tried to stand. “You think you can just shadow away from me?!” 

Mysterion coughed out again as he pulled himself to, staggering forward to grasp out for the redhead. “Wha-what are you doing here?” 

“I know how to help you!” Kyle shouted out, gesturing behind himself at the building. “I know the grid specs, I can reset the system!” 

He looked up behind the man to the building, fear jolting through him at the suggestion. He didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he knew that whatever it was it was a bad idea. He rushed forward to grasp at Kyle’s shoulders and impress the severity on him. “You can’t be here right now-! Kyle, whatever you’re suggesting, it’s insane.” 

“Guess what? No one makes my decisions for me,” Kyle snapped, levelling Mysterion with a determined gaze that shocked him into silence. “Alright? No one. This is my choice.” 

The familiar pang of the situation hit him like a tonne of bricks, and he let go of the redhead like he’d been burnt. “No, no, this isn’t right.” 

"How isn’t it right?!” 

“This _scene_ ,” Kenny pressed, spinning round and getting in Kyle’s space. “This is the scene from the Amazing Spiderman.” 

That seemed to startle the redhead, brows pulling together and face twisting with confusion. “What?” 

“With Peter and Gwen!” he continued despite the puzzled look. “And then at the end of the movie Gwen _dies_.” 

“So who am I?” 

“You’re _Gwen_.” 

Before they could continue speaking there was noise behind them. Mysterion turned, moving defensively to cover Kyle as the silver clad villain from before raised to his feet. 

He felt Kyle moving behind him and glanced over to see him heading towards the building. 

_No, this has to stop._

He reached down to the gun holster that he knew existed on the belt, pulling out a pistol. 

_I have to get back to Kyle. I’m not going to sit and live through this._

He raised it to his head and pulled the trigger. 

\--

The first thing he noticed was how heavy the air was. There was something about it that felt almost sickly, like the air itself was ill. The second thing was how bright the sky was when he cracked his eyes open, despite the clouds that seemed stained yellow above him. 

The third thing was the fact that he was lying in a deep ditch, and not all of him was made of flesh. 

He looked down to find his legs were made of metal, areas where it looked like skin had once covered a robotic skeleton. He groaned as he realised this meant he still wasn’t waking up in his normal bed, in his normal body, in his normal world. 

He pulled himself into a sitting position, poking his head over the top of the ditch, and his heart sunk even further. Nothing. Just wasteland. Just…dirt and sand. 

He looked out across the expansive wasteland, trying to encourage the metal legs attached to his metal form to move. He managed to dig his way out the dirt and began walking up the ridge in hopes of spotting something that wasn’t just dead things and dirt. 

He wasn’t sure if he was happy when he did. 

He looked down to what looked like it was supposed to be a town. A town that resembled South Park a lot, but with less snow and more radiation poisoning. What really got his heart bleeding was the state of the town itself rather than the environment around it. 

There was smoke and fire everywhere. Whatever was happening in the town wasn’t good. It looked like it was being raided, and he could hear the distant sound of the townsfolk’s widespread panic. 

“Kenny.” 

He spun round, surprised to find someone behind him. He hadn’t heard them arrive, and he was sure that no one had been behind him. 

The man lifted up his mask, revealing a pale face and red curls, eyes full of determination and sorrow. It was no surprise at this point that it was Kyle who his attention was drawn to. 

“I need to go down there. I can’t abandon my town.” 

“What?” Kenny whipped his head round. “You want to go down into that? Do you have a plan?” 

“I do…sort of.” 

Kenny scowled. “We’ll plan together, and go down together. I’m not going to let you go into that alone.” 

But Kyle shook his head, stepping forward. “You have more important things to finish.” 

“What?!” Kenny threw his hands in the air. “What could be more important than-?!” 

“Leslie needs to be found. You need to find her body and unplug her. Leave the town to me.” 

He was totally lost. Just like when he had to stand as a Princess and listen to Stan prattle on about some Dark Lord bullshit. Except this time he felt like there was even more of some weird plot that he was totally missing, and it was frustrating. 

It was frustrating, and he wanted out, and he was sick of being trapped in this weird death loop when _his Kyle_ was probably at home, telling Stan about how Kenny had stood him up. 

About how Stan had been right. 

He _refused_ to let Stan or Cartman be right. 

“I’m not doing this anymore!” Kenny shouted at the sky. “You hear me?! Put me back! Just put me back where I belong, and let me go and – and _fix things_!” 

He felt tears prickle the corners of his eyes as his breathing grew heavy and his voice got louder. 

“I’m not playing your fucking games anymore!” 

The ground opened underneath him. 

\--

He was sat at the lunch table in the cafeteria. No strange, medieval castles. No caped vigilantes and smart risk-takers. No desert wastelands with robotic parts. Just their lunch table in their high school cafeteria with him sat waiting for his friends to arrive. 

It was a scene that he was used to. What he didn’t expect was just how familiar the rest of the scene about to unfold would be. 

Cartman and Stan arrived together, the former looking like a man on a mission, and the latter with his eyes downcast and tail between his legs. They sat down at the table opposite him, and he opened his mouth to speak. 

This time, he wasn’t in control. He spoke without his own permission. 

“What crawled up your asses and died?” 

“Kenny, we need to talk,” Cartman started. “Stan and I have discussed it, and we want to raise our concerns with you, seeing as Kyle’s not open to criticism.” 

“Is this about the date thing?” Kenny asked. “I told you, dude, you need to back off. It’s none of your business.” 

“And I told you, Kenny, that no matter how much you two would like to believe it doesn’t affect us, it does.” 

Kenny felt his brows pulling together as his patience wore too thin. “Fuck off, fatass.” 

He knew what came next. Stan was going to speak up, and it was going to knock the wind out of his sails, because he didn’t expect it from Stan. 

“I think Cartman’s right.” 

He knew, because he’d experienced this conversation. This wasn’t just some weird fever dream. This was a memory. 

“It’s not like we’re not happy for you,” Stan clarified with a grimace. “I am, but…” 

“But we all know how this is going to go,” Cartman huffed with a roll of his eyes. “You’re gonna do your usual thing of wanting to flirt with everything that breathes, and he’s gonna get all picky and high maintenance and overbearing, and you’ll break up, and then where does that leave _us_ , Kenny?” 

“Cartman.” 

“What?” he spun round to look at Stan with a frown. “Just cause you don’t wanna say it.” 

“There’s just – there’s better ways to say it.” 

The brunette huffed out and gestured for Stan to take the floor. 

Stan, who fumbled and refused to look Kenny in the eyes. “Just be careful with him, dude. You don’t wanna…rock the boat, yeah?” 

He felt anger flare in his chest, wanting to slam his hands down on the table and tell the both of them to shove it. Tell them that they didn’t get to decide on whether or not it was a good idea. That, despite what they seemed to think, the relationship between Kyle and Kenny had jack shit all to do with them. 

“I’ll…think about it,” Kenny heard his own voice say. “Thanks for your concern, or whatever.” 

Stan gave a wobbly smile. “Yeah, dude. No problem. We’re just – we’re looking out for you both.” 

Kenny wanted to leap across the table and punch the guy square in the face. He might’ve loved Stan very dearly, but the asshole had his flaws, and this was definitely a moment where his flaws shone. 

But their conversation ended, because Kyle joined them at the table, opening his lunch bag to show the food that he had prepared for himself and Kenny, something he had done since they started high school. He spent the rest of the lunch period quiet while the others chattered away. 

The memory tore his heart in two. 

As angry as he was, they were right. The first date and Kenny had already managed to fuck it up. 

Maybe they were never meant to get passed ‘friends’. 

\--

When he woke up, it was slow. He noticed his breathing first. Steady. Calm. His eyes fluttered open and he took a moment to fully come to after being hit. Part of him wanted to rush up so he could chase the redhead, yet… 

He felt too defeated. Who knew how long it had been. It could’ve been three days later for all he knew. 

He stumbled through to the living room, seeing his father lounging on the couch with fresh bottles of beer in his hands. He gave a low grunt, raising one to his son in greeting. 

“Welcome back to the land of the living, kiddo.” 

“Thanks…” Kenny muttered, looking round the room to check that this was in fact his house. “How long was I…?” 

He trailed off as his eyes caught something within the kitchen. Red curls that poked out from under a green hat, a green jumper that matched with sleeves that were pushed up to his elbows as his freckled arms were submerged in the kitchen sink. 

“Not that long,” his dad’s gruff reply was. “You got a visitor, though.” 

“Yeah…” 

He stepped into the kitchen, feeling an electric flutter run through him as brown eyes looked up from the washing up, one hand half way through placing a plate on the drying rack. A wry smile that was oh so familiar and always promised teasing barbs. 

“Morning, sleeping beauty.” 

“What are you doing here? What time is it?” 

“It’s about three o’clock.” 

“Three o’clock?!” the electricity was replaced by a swift rush of panic. “Shit, dude, I’m-?!” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Kyle gestured to the towel hanging from the oven door. “Do some drying for me, would you? I’m running out of space.” 

“Right. Sure.” 

He moved like a robot, grabbing the towel and standing by Kyle as they continued to work. He kept glancing over, waiting for some kind of… _something_. A scolding. An explosion. Maybe tears? 

There was nothing. If anything, Kyle looked like he was quite content standing in the McCormick’s kitchen doing dishes. 

“You’re not…mad?” 

“What, that you left me standing outside the cinema for half an hour with your phone turned off because you were sleeping?” 

“Uh, yeah, that.” 

Kyle shrugged. “A little, I guess.” 

Not enough to care. 

“Karen told me what happened.” 

“Oh…yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Kyle nodded, smile pulling wider. “That you’d been kinda…tied up all morning. She said you’d been tasked with chores and then looking after her, and she thinks the stress just got to you. Went to get ready and ended up passing out.” 

“Kyle, listen, I-!” 

“Kenny.” 

The gentle yet firm tone wasn’t one that Kyle used often. It had Kenny’s breath caught in his throat, looking into those chocolaty brown eyes he’d been dreaming about all morning. The smiling lips. He didn’t know how he could ever dream of not being good enough for Kyle, when the boy looked at him like that. Like he already was. 

“I know you wouldn’t stand me up. I trust you.” 

“I wanted it to be perfect,” Kenny confessed as he looked back to the wet plates. “It’s our _first date_. I wanted it to be…I dunno. Better than doing chores at my house.” 

“Why does it have to be perfect?” 

“To prove-?!” 

He caught himself from saying it out loud, but the look of thunder that passed across Kyle’s face told him that the redhead knew what he meant anyway. 

“This is because of Cartman, isn’t it?” 

“Stan said it too…” 

“What?!” 

Kenny grimaced. He’d kind of thought Stan would’ve said something to his Super Best Friend. “He…implied that maybe we shouldn’t be rocking the boat?” 

“I told him to keep his nose out of it!” Kyle snapped as he turned back to the washing up. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about! He’s just jealous because it’ll leave him in the single corner with Cartman for once!” 

“He’s just…worried.” 

“Worried my ass!” Kyle huffed, putting the mug down with a little more force than necessary. The loud clinking noise it made broke through his anger at least. “Sorry…” 

“It’s not broken. No worries.” 

“I just…wish they’d keep their noses out our business,” Kyle muttered under his breath. “Cartman’s just being a dick, but for ages Stan’s been putting me off asking you out. When you asked me…he got weird about it. He shut up when I called him out on his shit. Or, I thought he did at least.” 

Kenny shrugged. “I guess maybe they figured if they couldn’t get through to you, they could get through to me.” 

“Well, fuck them,” Kyle huffed. “We’re going to finish doing these dishes and then we’re going to go out and see our movie and then – I don’t know, go break into Cartman’s backyard and throw rocks at his window.” 

He put one of the dishes down on the counter, leaning against it with the towel in his hands as he grinned at Kyle. “Who’s being the bad influence now?” 

Despite the scowl on his face, Kenny could see Kyle’s lips twitching up in amusement. “You’ve never been a bad influence. Mostly. Well, sometimes, I guess.” 

“Maybe if you play your cards right, you can be the bad influence all day,” Kenny purred as he leant in close to the boy still washing up. “We can throw rocks at Cartman’s window and then drive out to Stan’s farm and make out in the barn.” 

Kyle flushed at the suggestion. “Don’t tempt me. Assholes have it coming. Keep drying. You’re not off the hook yet.” 

“I thought you weren’t mad?” 

“I said a little!” Kyle defended. “I’ll be completely not mad once you’ve done and we can go and finish our date.” 

“I can’t wait to throw rocks at Cartman’s window with you.” 

They never made it to the cinema. When they looked at the timings, the next one was an hour away, and neither of them felt patient enough for that. They’d wasted too much of the day already. 

Instead Kenny took up Kyle on his suggestion of sneaking into Cartman’s back garden and throwing rocks at their friends window, ducking out of sight when the boy would come to the window to find them. After five minutes of back and forth eventually he opened and began shouting, claiming he _just knew it was that stupid Jew_ and the pair of them raced out laughing together as Cartman shouted after them. 

Kyle drove them to the McDonald’s drive thru and then out to the Marsh’s farm, lying on the bonnet of the McCormick’s car they’d borrowed as they watched the clouds pass by and chatted. They did end up sneaking into the barn, getting hold of some weed and climbing up to the rafters to sit and smoke and watch the sunset together. 

And yes, Kyle played his cards right and got both the joy of throwing rocks at Cartman’s window, and the look on his best friend’s face when he came out to see ‘what that weird noise in the barn was’ to find the pair of them making out under the blanket of night. 

**Author's Note:**

> This has actually been sat in my folder as a partly formed idea for like a year or two. Now that it's finished, I love it SO MUCH. I'm super happy with it and super glad I got an excuse to get it posted.
> 
> I know it's not a very typical 'au' type story, but I thought it was a nice deviation from what I'd normally do for an au prompt!


End file.
